It’s Okay To Have Standards & Be Hopeful

It is never wrong to have standards. It’s your compass, like a guide to know what works and what doesn’t, placing you towards the right direction. So don’t settle for the class A replica, wait up for the real thing. Remember that the waiting season is never a wasted season. Be hopeful, remain hopeful.

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I was hopeful.

Believe it or not, when I decided to be single for a long time (for the first time in years!), it was a challenge. All my teenage life up until I was in 3rd year college, my security and identity have always belonged to men. Yes, I was independent in my own definition of the word, but I will always rely for validation from the relationships I was in at the moment. However, all my relationships then, no matter how invested I was, always just ends up failing.

Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting the same result.

One (lonely) night, I’ve read that from somewhere and it hit me. I need to do something different. If I want something beyond the ordinary, I need to change my perception towards relationships. There were a lot of times that I feel like the waiting season is just a wasting season. Sure there were potentials, but I was not into it a hundred percent because I know in my heart they weren’t who I am actually looking for. Don’t get me wrong, these were great, nice guys but as a Christian woman, I have learned to set my own standards for the guy I want to marry and be the father of my kids someday. Call me idealistic or traditional but I need him to be not just a Christian but a God-fearing and Word-obeying kind of a man. No, I do not need him to be perfect and I do not need him to always say bible verses to me in the morning, I just need him to be a disciple of Jesus. And that level of need is what kept me hoping, it kept me waiting.

I want a married life with someone I can share my faith with. Someone who will uphold my moral values and respect my beliefs in keeping a relationship. Someone who understands that I go to church every Saturday to serve in the youth ministry and go to church again the next day for the Sunday service to worship and hear about His Word. Someone who values family because I value family. Someone who loves the Lord more than he loves me. I’ve set my own standards and prayed for it every day because I was hopeful that even in this day and age, where there is less regard for courtship anymore, I will meet someone like that. And it was not easy. There were nights that I feel like I’m crazy for believing such. That I need to compromise even just for a bit. Okay na kahit naniniwala nalang sa Diyos, kahit yun nalang. Maybe I can sacrifice my time for my ministry when he comes, after all, mas importante naman na may mapapangasawa ako. Okay lang kahit di siya nagsisimba with me or he has a different belief system, i-eexplain ko nalang yung preaching sakanya every week. Okay lang, basta mabait. Okay na yun kahit di kami pareho ng moral values. Okay lang. 

But nah, deep down in my heart, I don’t want to settle. I want a married life with someone I can share my faith with. If I cannot have that kind of married life then it’s okay to not marry at all rather than spending all my life struggling to explain to my partner why Jesus matters to me so much.

But then, how will I know if a guy meets my standards? Let me set this as a foundation: It is never wrong to have standards. It’s your compass, like a guide to know what works and what doesn’t, placing you towards the right direction. No, I don’t believe that if you like a guy, you have to say yes and enter into a relationship to “fully” get to know him. It doesn’t work that way. You can meet a guy and get to know him as you become friends. You can observe how he texts/chats you (if it’s just all texts/chats and no personal communication then there’s something wrong), how he opens the door for you, how he treats his family, how he is with his friends, how he values time for you, how he values time for other things, how he values your time for other things, how he spends his weekends, how you discuss certain issues  — all that you will know when you spend time together during courtship even if he’s wired up to have “the best foot forward” because at some point, he will trip and you will see his natural self somewhere along the way — before saying yes and actually committing to him. And yes, I am pertaining to that twisted Mr. Speaks video.

And so I was hopeful. Because again, I want a married life with someone I can share my faith with. And that matters to me more than just having someone to be with for the long haul. I want to wake up every day with peace in my heart that no matter how hard and tough life can be, I can always kneel down before the Lord and I’ll see him praying with me.

More than 3 years after my last relationship, that person came. He was not perfect but he was a work in progress. He sure loves the Lord more than me — more than anything else, actually. He values family so much I could see how respectful he is with his parents. Through him, I learn every day how honoring your parents in Exodus 20:12 ought to be done. He goes to church on Sundays even if he was all sleepy and tired the day before because of his Saturday ministry. And most of all, we share the same moral values and beliefs in keeping a relationship.

Thank God I remained hopeful. Thank God I struggled to be hopeful. Thank God I’ve kept my standards, because in 6 months, I’ll have a married life with someone I share my faith with. 

My standards might be different from yours, but all the same, it’s still important. Your story might be all too different as well, might take longer (or shorter) than mine, but still be hopeful. Don’t settle for the class A replica, wait up for the real thing. Because I tell you, it’s worth it. All the tears and even the fears and doubts that kept you awake all night are all worth it. You might not totally agree with me on every word I typed up here, but I believe (I’ve read this somewhere, I forgot where) that the waiting season is never a wasted season. Be hopeful, remain hopeful, because the Lord is not only the author and perfecter of our faith, He is also the author and perfecter of our love story. 

 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. — Philippians 1:6 NLT

Photo credit: www.pexels.com

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25 Get to Know Me Q’s

Since my site has a new theme and I feel like doing a new post before I head to the gym, let me introduce myself to you more. 😉 I searched for some about me posts and here are answers to what I found from someone’s blog post 25 Get To Know Me Q’s (just edited a few questions though). 😁

25 Get to Know Me Q’s

1. What is your first name? Svetlara Mae 💙 And I think you won’t find anyone with the same name as mine (or if you do, the probability is like 1 out of 10). 😸

2. What was favorite subject at school? When I was in highschool, I’ve always loved my Speech Class primarily because we did essay writings, speech choirs and debates there. And sige, Calculus. Haha! Not because I love Math (cos I am not actually good at it) but it challenged me to the core. My classmates in highschool can attest to that. 😂 In college, I love International Law. And I thank God I got one of the best INTLAW professors ever! 😁 (Actually I’ve been thinking to go to law school after college, but I don’t think I can live with the sacrifice of going to one.)

3. What is your favorite drink? Starbucks Peppermint Mocha and Wendy’s Strawberry Frosty 👌

4. What is your favorite song at the moment? Yellow by ColdplayGood Good Father by Housefires II and Dead Come Alive 💚

5. What is your favorite food? Taco Bell’s soft tacos and quesadilla Sbarro’s zitti and Chilli’s fish and chips 😍

6. What is the last thing you bought? Gym leggings and gym socks 👅 Seryosohan na talaga to sa gym! 😹

7. Favorite book of all time? That would be Harry Potter 1 to 7 and the bible 👌

8. Favorite Color? Well now, its Pink and Gold. Its usually the brightest or darkest shade of Pink and Gold (or anything that sparkles) 😁

9. Do you have any pets? None. Honestly, I’m afraid of dogs and cats so I will probably get a fish for a pet.

10. Favorite Perfume? I don’t like perfumes that much, I’ve been using Johnson’s and Johnson Powder Mist baby cologne for as long as I know. 😊

11. Favorite Holiday? Christmas holidays! WITHOUT A DOUBT 💙 I love the spirit of joy and kindness it brings, I love buying and wrapping gifts, all the reunions and all the family times. 💗

12. Are you married? No, not yet. 😉

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?  Not yet. Actually, I really want to but I want to travel with Josh. But we want to travel together once we get married. 😸

14. Do you speak any other language? I studied Spanish back in college but it did not stick as much as I want to. I’m better at writing though, than speaking it.

15. How many siblings do you have? I have two older sisters and one younger brother. So yep, I am a middle child with all the middle child syndrome and issues. BEFORE. Thank God He changed my heart. Really. Read my post about it: Freedom Reigns 👌

16. What is your favorite shop? Japan Store, no kidding 😄 And any bazaar that features washi tapes, pens and other art crafts. 😍

17. Favorite restaurant? Without a doubt, Chilli’s. 👌

18. When was the last time you cried? Last week? During worship time in our youth service. 💙

19. Favorite Blog? Well actually I’m just new again to the blogging world so I haven’t found any blogsites that I really like and follow yet. Of course, except Maine Mendoza‘s. 😻

20. Favorite Movie? The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, Blended. 💛 Actually all Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler movies! And Harry Potter, Avengers series, Batman. Fast and the Furious series, The Hunger Games, Gone in 60 Seconds. Actually, I have a lot of favorites. But the movie that I can watch over and over again without getting tired is really The Wedding Singer. ❤

21. Favorite TV shows? FRIENDS is probably on top of my list! But I also binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. 😸

22. PC or Mac?: Any good use laptop will do. I don’t know much about gadgets, hehe.

23. What phone do you have? Samsung S5 (I’m waiting for Samsung S7, hope the price is friendly enough for me to swipe my card for it lol 😂)

24. How tall are you? 5 feet (crying inside 😹)

25. Can you cook? People think I don’t but I do. And I think its an innate talent in our family cos my dad is really a great cook. 👌

So there you go, time to head to the gym. Wish me luck. 😸 ⚓